Just Some Guy

You were sitting at a bar with your friend when you broke the news to him. At first, he hadn’t believed you, which was typical for an elf. Far be it for them to accept stories outside of their own culture. However, as the realization set in, he finished off his glass of wine much faster than any you’d ever seen him drink before.

With the glass empty, he turned to you. “Repeat that, please.”

You laughed and ordered another glass of whiskey. “My father was born in Greece, specifically the island of Crete. There’s a small village there where minotaurs are pretty common.”

Your friend stared at you, gaze narrow as he seemed unable to fully grasp the meaning of your words.

“Bull from the waist up, man from the waist down, hundred-percent warrior.”

“Right.” Your friend nodded and started on his next glass of wine. “And your mother?”

You sipped at your whiskey. “Beautiful mermaid from the Atlantic Ocean. Nice aquamarine scales, fine black hair, fair skin … Apparently, everyone thought she was the most gorgeous mermaid. She found herself lost in the Mediterranean Sea one day, and before you know it, she was asking my dad for directions.”

“A mermaid?”

“Yep. Fish tail from the waist down, human from the waist up.”

Your friend stared at you. It was impossible to make out the expression on their face, mostly because it looked like a mixture of bewilderment, awe, and outright disbelief, along with a hint of awe.

“Wait, wait, wait.” He shook his head. “Your mother’s a mermaid, and your father’s a minotaur.”

“That’s right.”

“But you’re …” He motioned to my entire body. “You.”

“Don’t I know it.”

“How does that even work?”

You chuckled and finished off your whiskey. “You see, it’s the half-human part that’s important. I just ended up getting the human half from both of my parents.”

Your friend gawked, the glass of wine in their hand and slowly tipping, their face slowly scrunching up as they tried to work out the logistics of it all. “So, you’re saying you can’t breathe underwater.”

You lifted up your shirt to show off your abdomen, where mermaid gills were usually located. “Nope.”

“And you don’t have horns?”

You brushed as much of your hair aside as you could, revealing you didn’t even have tiny stumps. “Not yet, at least.”

“Okay. Maybe you got a fish tail somewhere?”

You laughed. “Trust me, you don’t want me showing you my ass.”

Your friend seemed distraught. “But that would mean …”

“Yep.” You leaned against the bar and ordered one more whiskey. “I’m just some guy.”