Big Scaly Puppy

You had centuries worth of experience, literal decades alone spent terrorizing a distant countryside that had long since been taken over, renamed, taken over again, and ultimately burned down. You knew how to disarm a knight with a flick of your tail, disrobe them from their armor with a gnash of your teeth, and disembowel them with a slash of your claws. But never in your life had you had to deal with such an odd situation.

You stared down at the human—at least, you thought it was a human. They were tiny, barely the size of your claw, with pale skin and bright blue eyes. You watched, curious, as they toddled around your cave. Occasionally, they would stop and pick up one of the coins from your hoard. Of those they picked up, sometimes they would stick one in their mouth and suck on it. You always drew back, repulsed, no matter how many times you saw it.

You circled, sticking to the outer walls of your den as the human explored. They had no armor beyond a simple cloth shirt, and they had no weapons beyond their untrimmed claws. Those wouldn’t even be a nuisance against the tough scales lining your hide.

“What are you?”

The human looked your way, then picked up one of the few gold chains you had strewn about your hoard and stuck the end into its mouth. Your gaze narrowed.

“If this is some elaborate ruse, I will end your life.”

The human smiled, toppled backward onto its rear end, and giggled. It wasn’t scared in the slightest, making it far braver than any human that had ever come before.

“Tell me!”

The human laughed and clapped its hands as you drew closer, your teeth bared. Before you could do anything else, it reached out with its tiny hand and patted the tip of your snout. Although you could barely feel it through your scales, it was still enough to shock you.

“What in blazes?”

“Big scaly puppy!”

You froze up and stared down the human. For a long while, it said nothing, too busy laughing and repeating those same three words.

“I am not a puppy!” you insisted. “I am a dragon, now fear me!”

You breathed a gout of flame toward the ceiling of your cave. It’d been intended to frighten the human. Instead, it watched with wide eyes, cooing at the spectacle.

“I will end you here! Do you not understand?”

“Big scaly puppy!”

You leaned in close again, snarling in its face. The sound alone should’ve been enough to set off deep-set instincts, leading to it running screaming from your cave. Instead, it giggled, closed its eyes, and went to swat your snout again. This time, its hand ended up inside one of your nostrils. The sudden intrusion was enough to set off your nose, and with hardly any warning, you turned to the side and sneezed a mixture of snot and fire.

“Puppy funny!”

Snot dripping from your nose and smoke trailing away in wisps, you turned back. “I am not funny,” you muttered, your voice somewhat muffled by the newfound stuffiness in your nose.

“Funny voice.”

You plopped yourself down in front of the human, your snout ending up mere inches from where they sat. “My voice is not funny.”

The human laughed and patted your snout again. “Big scaly puppy.”

You sighed. Against your better judgment, you decided to leave this human alone. It wasn’t hurting anyone, it wasn’t terribly dangerous, and, most importantly, you were somewhat enjoying its presence.

“Yes,” you said with a low breath. “Big scaly puppy.”